Who’s got your back?
Posted by: Chris Corrigan in Professional development, tags: Experient Conference, Keith Ferrazzi, lifeline relationshipsThe morning keynoter at Experient’s client conference last week was best-selling author Keith Ferrazzi. As a 20+ year curriculum planner, I enjoy professional speakers about as much as our cat Ozzie likes baths. So having just reviewed a pile of videos from wanna-be IABC conference keynoters, I readied myself for a canned presentation from yet another inimitable speaker.
My first impression? Tasmanian devil on speed. At 9 am, this was the program planner’s ultimate revenge on the 3 am dancing crowd. Even the camera crew couldn’t keep his bouncing image on screen.
But when Keith opened up to share the intimate experiences that shaped him, the audience of about 300 association and corporate professionals softened and started listening. And after we each shared a life-changing experience with our “table tribe,” he had us hook, line and sinker.
Online we have more “friends” than ever before, but we’re still damn lonely. Have you noticed the guy in the next cubicle with 427 Facebook friends eats lunch at his desk every day? Keith’s message was that in this digital era, we need personal and professional lifeline relationships to sustain us. Family, friends and colleagues who encourage our vulnerability and candor, support our reach and hold us accountable. A security net.
When considering your lifeliners, Keith suggests asking these questions:
- Does the person have the courage to tell you the truths you need to hear? Will she allow you to be candid with her?
- Is he able to be open and vulnerable with you? Is he understanding about your fears and struggles?
- Is she ready to hold you accountable to help you reach your goals? Will she let you do the same for her?
- Is he generous to you and others? Generous enough to allow you to help each other?
Keith has a downloadable Lifeline Group Launch Kit on his site, and other free resources.
Now think hard about who’s got your back.
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Hi Chris,
I had a similar conversation over the weekend with a close friend about how you find out who your friends are when you’re having a tough time and need advice | support | honesty | etc., not when you’re the life of the party.
Online communities, if you nurture them. can be the building blocks to a relationship, but it’s only the first step. After all, it’s shared partial intimacy. The trick is bring the conversations offline one on one so you’re not sitting in your cubicle by yourself every day having lunch. (Which, by the way, sounds like a perfectly dreadful existence.)
I’m glad you’re blogging again!
Best,
Daria
I got your back, Grossgart!
Backatcha, Lee Anne!
Daria, such a good point about nurturing online relationships, bringing them offline and to life. Now which of the 427 friendships to develop? Thanks for the welcome back.
Pick me, pick me!
(And I’ve got your back, too.)
You can count on me, Chris, to have your back anytime.
Barb
If you have people in your life who fit Keith’s guidelines, you are indeed a lucky person. I would add another qualifier. Who stands beside you when you’re going through a tough patch, as so many have in our current economic situation. I’ve heard way too many stories of people who have fallen on hard times, and their so-called friends have fallen away from them. When the going gets tough, when you’re in your darkest hour, when you REALLY need someone to talk to, take a look around you to see who is still standing by your side ready to share your burden. That person is your true friend.